Hey, I realised that I haven't posted in awhile. Sigh, I guess I've been caught up with the whirlwind that is my life. Lots of things have happened since I last posted. Like student leaders investiture, teachers' day celebrations and many other stuff. I feel like I've not really been myself lately. I mean I am still me but somehow it feels a little umcomfortable sometimes. I think I'm going backwards. Instead of becoming more mature, I think I've become more immature. I often find myself getting irritated at very small things, it's not like I want to but sometime I just do. And then, I have to go through the entire internal conflict with myself to rationalise with myself and try not to be an immature brat. I don't know what's wrong with me. I think it's a mid-life crisis and I'm going to die at 30. Sigh, I really don't know. Just to make matters worst, exams are coming. I'm going through the motion and studying but I know nothing is going in. There's so many wrongs that I have to make right, that I don't even know where to start.
Just recently, I found out the word/words that trigger and unleash all the fury I try so hard to keep in. If you watched Hancock then you would understand what I'm talking about. You know when people call Hancock an "asshole" he gets really annoyed and punches the living daylights out of that person? yup, that the feeling I get when someone tells me to "go away". I think those words trigger something deep inside me that should never be know or seen to anyone. I don't even think that the magnitude of the rage, frustration, anger, hurt and fury that is unleashed when i person says "go away" is even human. My guess is that it's just all the pent up emotions that I've put away somewhere deep inside me. But I can't be sure. Sigh, I really hate those words. Not sure why, but I just do. I don't think I can take to rejection. Ok, now the whole world knows my weakness and can use it against me, great. Just great.
*sigh* The world is crashing down on me....HAHA, ok not really but as for now i feel like crap. I have a slight fever which makes my body ache like crap. A cough that makes me sound like a sick dog. And a sore throat that makes me sound like a man... *sigh* why does life have to be so tragic... Ok, i think I'm being a little too dramatic. But to a certain extent it is true. I just wanna curl up in bed and never wake up again. I'm not turing suicidal, in case you're worried but I'm just really tired. I'm physically, mentally and socially tried. sometimes i just wish i was introverted, so that i wouldn't have complicated friendship to deal with. I mean i really love all my friends but just sometime i wish that. *sigh* I think this is the medication talking, i have no idea what on earth i'm saying...
Well, on a lighter note, polling week started today!!!! yippie! I can finally vote for my awesome friends who totally deserve thes leadership roles. Great and fantastic people... haha. anyways, clara, regina, mel lee and other people are sick together with me so i'm not alone.. *sigh* this flu thing is damn annoying. i just hope it blows over soon...
Ah well, TTFN. Promise to post soon:D
HAHA. I found this on sarah toh's blog. Quite entertaining[x] Both of your parents are from Asia
[x] You were born in Asia
[ ] You use the term "Azn"
[ ] You think DDR is cool
[ ] You've watched lots of anime
[ ] You like Korean drama
[x] You have stuff hanging on your phone
[ ] You think your parents want you to marry within your own race
[ ] You eat rice almost everyday
[x] You drink lemon tea
X's so far: 4
[ ] You style your hair
[ ] You have a bebo/myspace/friendster
[x] You speak languages other than English
[x] Your parents are strict
[ ] Your parents have high expectations of you
[ ] You always get A's/B's on your report
[x] You do Chemistry/Biology/Physics/Accounting
[x] You know your multiplication table
[ ] You play badminton or table tennis or Irish Pingpong
[ ] You've seen the asian version The ring/The grudge
X's so far: 8
[x] You go/want to go to a university and would NEVER consider an apprenticeship
[x] You own an asian car (Honda, Toyota, etc)
[x] You're not the only child
[x] You've gotten little red envelopes around February (Chinese New Year)
[ ] You know the difference between kung fu, karate and tae kwon do
[x] Your mother tries to bargain even though the product is already discounted
[ ] You can solve a rubiks cube
[x] You have a box of noodles somewhere in your house
[x] You play video games
X's so far: 15
[x] Everytime you're going out, your parents ask you where you're going and what time you'll be home
[ ] You have karaoke at home
[ ] You've been to a LAN more than 3 times
[ ] You have incense sticks/moth balls in your house
[ ] You own a gaming console
[x] You don't wear shoes in your house
[x] You can use chopsticks
[x] You get nothing if you do well in school, but punished if you don't
X's so far: 19
[ ] Your parents won't let you go out if you have school the next day
[x] You have asian songs on your computer/iPod
X's so far: 20
[x] You have a curfew
[ ] You know what ulzzang/tb means
[ ] You know what purikura is
[x] You like bubble tea
[x] Your parents bought you shoes many sizes too big so you can "grow into it" and wear it for years to come
[ ] You've played final fantasy
[ ] You believe in fortune cookies
X's so far: 23
[ ] You know what is bok choy
[ ] You've heard the song "Got rice?" (Asian Pride)
[x] You've had pocky/yan yan before
[x] When you ask for your mum's permission she goes "ask your dad"
X's so far: 25
Total X's: 25
Multiply your total score by 2 and put the subject as I am 50% Asian
HAHA. Like all the other things in life.. i just passed as asian too:D